Smile, You're On Switchboard's Camera
by a440
Summary: When Switchboard is uninvited to Chester's birthday party because of her reporting gossip ways, she retailiates in the worst way that could spell doom for the genius and Jillian, his girlfriend. Finished at last.
1. Switchboard, A Spoiled Brat?

SMILE, YOU'RE ON SWITCHBOARD'S CAMERA

The Beverly Hills Teens remain the registered trademark of DIC, while Final Fantasy is a trademark of Square/Enix. So there

So what if our illustrious Chester is younger than Tara Belle as featured in our story? Wait, remember how he had a crush on Lark, Nikki and, even Bianca? But then, even Jillian was a bit partial to Troy. Well, let's hope there's no traces of OOC nor PWP here in the following story here. Anyhoo, let's carry on...

-A440

Chapter 1: Switchboard, A Spoiled Brat?

"No, Switchboard, no, NO, and THAT is final, and I don't mean Final Fantasy," said a disturbed Chester Mc Tech, who, along with Jillian Thorndyke III, was inside one of The Teenclub's big rooms, which featured a pool table which the boy genius and his girlfriend/kid sister of Pierce Thorndyke III, were grouped around. And standing before them, acting indignant, was the controversial gossip diva known as Brenda Andes, aka Switchboard. Right now she was whining, "You can't do that to me, Chester! I got my rights and the first Amendant does say freedom of the press! I deserve a right to cover your birthday party next week, which I believe is the social event of Beverly Hills. My reputation is what I live for and besides-inquiring minds want to know!"

"And I say the answer is no," stated Chester, with a scowl on his face. "There is NO WAY I will allow you to bring any tape recorders and/or hidden mikes, listening devices, bugging devices, hidden mikes-ANYTHING connected with you, not even MP3 recorders, et al, not even a notepad-in my labs, especially to my brithday party!"

"You tell her," said a testy Jillian, a sneer on her face. "Here's one time the queen of gossip don't get her way." Then to Switchboard: "So you'd best swallow your pride, do what we say and enjoy it, or we'll uninvite you."

Like a spoiled brat that couldn't have her way, the gossip freak stamped her feet, protesting in a immature way, "And I say I know my rights! Even the birthday boy should take a back seat and give some conscessions to the press like me, and besides, I am older than you and you should respect your elders. You never heard of take and give? Looks like all take and no give. Okay, my mind's made up, I am STILL taking my few tape recording devices, so like it or not-it's my job and my way of life! Not to mention a matter of principle! Remember, we're in a free nation."

"Not always," said the boy genius. "Such rules doesn't apply to everything, as such, the answer remains no-and for your so called matters of principle and all that other stuff listed, on behalf of Jillian and me, you can consider yourself UNINVITED to my party-effective post haste!"

Upon hearing that, Switchboard was livid, her face turning ruby red before she yelled, "You can't do that to me and get away with that! I'll get even with you if it's the last thing I do, you pint sized Einstein! Mark my words!"

On that, the gossip freak stomped out from the room, just as the BHT starlet Nikki Darling entered; for the moment, it seemed peace came back to the billiard room. From there, because of their height, Chester and Jillian each sat on a stool facing each end of the table, and readied their cue sticks, with some balls in groups, and that was when Nikki arrived on the scene and asked, "Sorry for overhearing, but what's the furor with you two and Switchboard?"

"It's pathetic," replied the boy genius, "Switchboard had a fit because I wouldn't allow her to bring any media equipment in my labs for my birthday party next week, not even cover the said party, so when she refused to comply to mine and Jillian's request, we uninvited her."

Yup, we 86'ed ol' Switchboard," said the Thorndyke sibiling, "which proves not all inquiring minds want to know."

"And I know the feeling," agreed the starlet, who also took up a pool cue stick and was standing near Chester at the table. "If I had a party and Switchboard tried to butt in and cover it, I'd stick a rocket in her skirt and aim her towards Johannesburg. Oh, I had a hard time picking out your gift for your bithday, but I think you may love it." Then noticing the arranged balls on the billiard table, she added, "Trick shots?"

"Sure, " replied Chester. "Check it out."

Aming his cue stick at a special angle, the genius shot the cue ball which hit a trio of balls; one went into the upper right corner pocket, the second in the lower right pocket and the third in the lower center pocket.

"Yay, Ches!" said Jillian. "Now check out mine." That said, she took aim and shot the cue ball which a aligned group of six balls was split in all six directions, each ball landing in all six pockets.

"Righ on the ol' bazoo, Jillian," said an impressed Nikki. "But it's time you step aside for the female Minnesota Fats."

Aiming her cue stick, the starlet shot the cue ball which split apart two balls each ball hitting a group of three balls, each group landing in its own pocket.

"All hail the Nikkeroo," said the Thorndyke sibling. "She's the new queen of the billiards!"

At the moment, a yard from behind Jillian, was the happy go lucky vivacious belle of the south, Tara Belle who chirped, "Howdy there, all of you!"

"Morning, Tara," said the trio in unison.

Approaching the billiard table, and like Nikki, also took up a cue stick, the Southerner took her place next to Jillian and said, "Looking foward to your birthday, Chester? I hope y'all pert near like the gift I picked out for you-oh, I can hardly wait for you to see it! I feel like I just stumbled onto Scarlett O'Hara's DVD collection."

"Who wouldn't be looking foward to that?" said Chester. "So what trick shot you've got in mind?"

"One moment," said Tara, who touched a button marked AUTOMATIC RERACK; A pipe came from beneath the table then sucked up the other balls, before a pair of robotic appendages placed the triangle hoop on the table. After that, the pipe filled it with the balls, then placed the cue ball nearby then withdrew while the appendages removed the hoop. From there, the Southerner took aim and shot the cue ball-

-and it hit the balls, which caused them to split into six groups of balls, which went into all the pockets, one pocket for each group. All of which left Nikki, Jillian and Chester astounded, the genius saying to the starlet, "Nikki, I got the feeling you've just been dethroned as the queen of the billiards."

"Don't bother, " said a chagrined Nikki, "I just abdicated."

"Say, I remembered," said Jillian, who put aside her cue stick and went to Chester, "I got to get ready to get the supplies for the birthday cake-it'll be 4 tiered, seven layered with with white buttercream frosting. Don't forget our date at the golf course, OK?"

"Sure, as long as you don't forget our date at the ski slopes," said the genius.

"It's a date," said the Thorndayke sibling who kissed the genius and added, "See you on the greens, birthday boy," before heading out the room.

However...no one noticed, 4 feet from the window that looked into the billiard room, hovering on its VTOL engines at the height of the fourth floor of The Teenclub, resembling a manta ray, spanning twelve feet square, with two jet engines at its backside, a high definition camera eye mounted on its front, its top side emblazoned with The Teenclub logo with the acronym KBHT below, was the custom built survellance drone probe that Switchboard comissioned Chester to build so she could cover her reports and stories and other purposes. And right now, holding her bulky remote radio controller with the LED screen above the joystick, a VHS tape slot on the side, crouched atop the probe, staring in the screen which had the interior in the room and its people onscreen, was the disgruntled gossip freak, who was glowering.

"Uninvite me to the party, will he?" muttered Switchboard. "I demand sastisfaction-and REVENGE...all I need is an idea, an angle, to shame that pseudo professor, and let him know no one shuns, let alone puts the screws on Brenda Andes, alias Switchboard and gets away with it...all I need is an angle, some kind of idea for false gossip...and I may have found it..."

Holy tabloids! Can Switchboard be planning to muckrake Chester with some false slander like she did before to the other BHTs to get in Mona Blabbit's good side? It looks like it. P.S.: VTOL is short for Vertical Take Off and Landing.

-a440

Next time, check out Chapter 2: Baby, Let's Play House


	2. Baby, Let's Play House

Now I did mention PWP and OOC, hope it's not here. Anyhow, it seems Switchboard is ready to hatch her unholy plot

-a440

Chapter 2: Baby, Let's Play House

After Jillian's departure, Nikki suggested, "Say, let's play something less mundane."

"Oh, let's!" chirped Tara. "What'll we play?"

"How 'bout paintball?" said the starlet.

"No," replied the Southerner, "the last time I played paintball, I not only pert near got hurt, I had a hard time getting the paint out from my dress."

"So?" said Nikki. "No one told you to step into my line of fire."

"How was I to know?" said Tara a bit testily.

"Uh, pardon me," suggested Chester," but I suggest Shout spray to take the stains from your dress."

"I'll remember that, thank you," said the belle. "Any other ideas?"

Thinking it over, the genius said, "Let's play polo."

"NO," said the starlet testily, "I ain't playing polo again-not after you once bonked me on the head with your polo ball."

"I kept telling you to get out the way," shot back Chester, who was also getting a bit terse.

"So I couldn't hear you over the noise of the crowd," said Nikki.

"Wait," offered the Southerner, who was getting ecstatic with what she had in mind, "I just thought of a game I used to play when I was a girl-let's play house."

"House?!" said the surprised starlet. "Only children play house."

"So?" said Tara. "It's a children's version of roleplaying, play acting, which is what y'all do basically-same thing as an actor would, don't you think?"

Thinking it over for a second, Nikki mused on that then said, "Can't argue with that."

"No," said the genius, "I ain't playing no house, roleplay or not, I see it as a girl's game-something that belongs in Jillian's field."

"Oh, come on, Chester," said the hurt Southerner, a pained look on her face, "it'll be fun."

"No," repeated Chester, a stony frown on his face.

"Come on, Chester," cajoled the starlet, "think of it as training for married life far in the future, when you and Jillian tie the knot."

"Nostradamus, you ain't," muttered the boy genius-before Nikki and Tara got on bended knee, flanking Chester, before the Southerner said, "Please?"

"Please, Chester?" said the starlet.

"Oh, please?" said the belle, "Have a heart."

"Please, Chester, no one will see us," said Nikki.

"Please, pretty please, with sugar and pralines on it?" said Tara.

"Please, Chester, for the sake of our storyline here?" said the starlet.

After thinking on that, the genius said hesitantly, "Just promise none of what just happened gets out to the other BHTs, especially Switchboard-not to mention Jillian. Also, promise you don't lose respect for me."

"OK," chorused Tara and Nikki.

"Then let's get it on," said Chester, who didn't look like he was looking foward to the "game."

Jumping up and clapping, the Southerner chirped, "Yay! Well, since Chester's spoken for as the dad, let's flip a coin to see who gets to be the mom and the baby."

Producing a quarter, the starlet said, "Here's the coin, call it, Tara."

"Heads," replied Tara.

Nikki flipped the coin...and as fate decreed (or words to that effect, as it must be for some people), it landed on heads, the starlet saying, "Heads it is," then muttering, "Lucky," before producing a baby bonnet with long ribbons and saying, "I hope Amanda Seyfried is taking notes," then donning the said bonnet while the belle said to the genius, "OK, Chester, y'all step outside, wait four seconds, then come back in, making like you're coming home from work."

"Where'll I work?" said the genius.

"You're already a genius, use it to your advantage," said Nikki.

"OK, I'll be Chief Genius," said Chester, who stepped outside the billiard room...and at the same moment, astride her flying camera probe, was Switchboard, gazing in probe's remote controller's built in LED screen, at what the probe was seeing inside through the window, and that was when the gossip freak muttered, "Aha...the genesis for the ultimate revenge, paparazzi style, is born."

Back inside the building, the starlet was kneeling on the floor, bawling like a baby, "Wa! Wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa!"

"Oh my poor baby," crooned Tara, "why do y'all cry?"

"I miss dad," mock wailed Nikki, who now sucked her thumb and gripped her baby blanket.

"He'll be pert near home any moment now," assured the belle, just as the genius stepped inside saying, rather woodenly, "Hi, dear, I just came home."

"And how was the lil' ol' rat race today?" asked the Southerner.

"Let's just say the rats were still winning," replied Chester, "but on the plus side, it's good to be home with you and our baby girl."

Sensing a possibility, Switchboard adjusted the controls for the probe's digital camera eye to telephoto focus till all that could be seen on the screen were Chester, Nikki and Tara-

-and that was when the belle bent near the genius, pointing to her face cheek and said, "How about a hello kiss for me?"

Fed up with the game as well as the stupidity behind all that, the incensed genius said, "That does it, joke's over-and so's the game."

Feeling hurt, with a pained look on her face to match, the Southerner blurted, "Oh, Chester! Be serious! Y'all didn't want to play pert near much?! Like Nikki said, no one will know!"

"Go on, kiss her, Chester," said the starlet. "How can anyone see us?"

But little did Nikki (if not Chester and Tara) know was that Switchboard telephotoed the camera eye till the screen now showed just the genius and the belle, while the said Chester stated, "I feel like I just stepped into a yenta convention."

"Yenta convention?" said the surprised starlet. "All the same, just kiss her, OK?"

"Pretty please, with magnolia mint on it?" begged the Southerner. "Just imagine

you're kissing Jillian."

At first the genius hesitated, while Switchboard hit the Record button on the remote controller to start taping the scene (and for the gossip freak, the timing couldn't be more fitting for her), then soon after that, he neared Tara and kissed her cheek.

"There, you see?" said the belle, "that wasn't that painful, wasn't it?"

"Just as long as you remember,"said the genius, :that if anyone saw that, I'd be razzed till doomsday and worse still, Jillian would kick my butt."

At that moment, Switchboard hit the Stop button and adjusting controls along with the control joystick, turned the flying probe around then flew off from The Teenclub, up to the skies (and hanging on for life in the process), muttering, "You're finished, Mc Tech...!"

Looks like skullduggery, Switchboard style is afoot here in the 90210 area code here and it seems her dirty work is far from over. How long will it be before our pint sized high I.Q. dude discovers what's happening before things get worse? The gossip diva aims high for the moment.

-a440

Next time, check out Chapter 3: Lights, Camera, Scandal


	3. Lights, Camera, Scandal

Switchboard's on the move...the plot thickens...a good time to break for a commercial.

-a440

Chapter 3: Lights, Camera, Scandal

An hour later later at The Teenclub's golf course, Chester was trying his luck at the first hole with Jillian; he made a putt with a 5 iron but the ball missed the hole and Jillian cheered, jumping like a pom pom girl. "Yay, Cheseroo!" she chirped.

"But I missed," said the genius.

"But no one misses like you do," said the Thorndyke sibiling. Then: "So Nikki and Tara had you play house? You'd think they'd grow out from that."

"Some people never outgrow," mused Chester. "Typical Peter Pan syndrome I guess. But then it's Tara for you."

After trying again with the putt, the genius got a hole in one, and so did Jillian before playing the next few holes. Yet no one noticed Switchboard's survellance probe floating in the sky, hiding behind trees, keeping a close eye on the duo, while in her car, in The Teen Club parking garage, piloting the said probe with her remote, was the gossipmonger. Right now, it was at the 12th hole when Jillian said, "Do you hear something?"

"I'd recognize that sound," replied Chester, "it's that flying survellance probe Switchboard comissioned me to build-but I don't see it anywhere. She must be checking up on some of our fellow BHTs trying the links."

"Must be Pierce, Gig, Jett or all of they above on the greens," said the Thorndyke sibling, "they love golf." Then on an afterthought, she added, "Nikki-or was it Tara?-said playing house that day was ideal training for marriage; somehow, that fact Nikki played the baby, you the dad and Tara the mom, that sounds like a strange match. You and Tara as a couple? That doesn't sound right. But wait-what of all those times with you and Lark? And at one point, Nikki? Then there's that date you went on with Bianca."

"I don't deny all that," said the genius," but all that was long before I met you-or is that rediscovered you? You get the idea."

Unbeknownist to the duo, the probe was hiding behind a bank of tall trees nearby, the camera eye peering through a space between the said trees, trained on the duo. And Switchboard had her finger poised over the record button...and that was when Chester added, "I like Tara but I ain't that crazy for her, nor much of the female BHTs. She's got a thing with Wilshire."

"Wilshire?" said a surprised Jillian. "I thought it was Radley."

"You don't remember?" said the genius. "She and Radley had a lover's quarrel before The Hawaiian Hop and they broke up-and right after my dating computer predicted they would be the perfect match. But then, after it came up with a match for me, which turned out to be Bianca, well..."

"Shows you that not even computers can solve ALL problems," said the Thorndayke sibling, who grinned. "But then, can you imagine how worse it would be if that computer came up with Tara instead of Bianca as your ideal girl?"

Sensing a possibility for fuel for the fire in effect, Switchboard stabbed the record button before Chester said, "Like I said, Tara's OK as a friend, but I can see you're the girl for me-and the irony? We didn't even need that computer of mine to match me and you."

"Amen," agreed Jillian. "Which means Lark and Troy, Gig and Jett, et al, may be in for competition." Just then, she craned her head to a sound and said, "Hey, there goes Switchboard's probe."

How right she was; the camera probe had been sighted flying out from the trees and was skyward and jetting in the direction of The Teenclub.

"Curious," said the genius, "Guess Pierce must've had bad luck on one of the holes-or Gig and Jett were bickering over one thing or another."

"Long as it wasn't me and you," said the Thorndyke sibling. "I wonder...nah...well, let's get it on, your serve."

Taking aim at the 12th hole and aligning everything, Chester swung-and the ball landed right in the hole.

"Yay, Cheseroo!" chirped Jillian. "Hole in one!"

Few knew however, that when Switchboard hit the record button, she also had another finger poised over the pause button as well; when Chester said, "Like I said, Tara's," she paused the recorder, then unpaused it when he said, " the girl for me."; the result would be a seamless flying eraser head edit that would make it look like the genius was saying, "Like I said, Tara's the girl for me."

In the heart of Beverly Hills (besides The Teenclub), was the premier flower place called Thinker's Flower Fort, and it was there that Switchboard was at, selecting roses, baby's breath, gladiolous and magnolias before handing them to the counterman and adding to the package, a card she wrote out, before the whole package was sent out on the outgoing delivery van after that.

Several hours later, Chester was arriving at The Teenclub and was halway up the entrance steps when Tara came up and said, "Chester!" I've been pert near waiting for you!" before sweeping up in a hug, then planting a big kiss on the surprised genius, gushing, "Oh thank you so much for the bouquet you sent me! How'd y'all know I loved magnolias, baby's breath, gladiolous and roses?".

"Wait," said Chester, "What bouquet? I don't remember sending you a bouquet, not at all."

"Oh, y'all just can't keep a secret, can't you?" said the Southerner, who let go of Chester and added, "But wait-what about Jillian? I thought you two were sweet on each other."

"And we're still sweet on each other," said the genius. "Wait, back off. You said you got flowers-what makes you think I sent them to you?"

Producing a card, Tara replied, "I got a card with the flowers before I put them in a vase of water-read it and weep."

Taking the card, Chester read, "Darling, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, all the best, Chester." Then jumping as if he had gotten an electric shock, he blurted, "I tell you, I DIDN'T send those flowers, nor the card! For that matter, I didn't even write on the card at all, so help me!"

"You didn't?!" said the surprised Southerner. "How can y'all be sure?"

"For starters," replied the genius, "it's NOT my handwriting on that card, it's Switchboard's."

"Switchboard's?!" echoed Tara, who took the card back and examined before saying, "You're right it IS her handwriting on there-if y'all right, then why would Switchboard pert near send me flowers in your name?! Could it be the gossip business didn't work out for her, so now she's switched to the yenta field, trying to matchmake me and you?"

"Yenta," grumbled Chester, "there's that word again. At least I can be lucky Jillian didn't see what just happened. Right now, there's something rotten in Beverly Hills and Switchboard's got some strange connection with it."

"Listen, Chester," said the Southerner, "why don't y'all let me hang on to that card for a spell, OK? I already put the flowers in a vase of water and I'll certainly hang on to those as well-it's not right to waste flowers, don't y'all know?"

"Do that," said Chester, who went up the steps of The Teenclub entrance, adding, "I got a date with Jillian-but first, I got to wash my face from your lip print, no offense."

As before, several yards from the Teenclub entrance, high in the sky, was Switchboard, riding her camera probe, finishing with video recording the scene that had played out twixt Chester and Tara, hitting the record button when he arrived. yet she hit the pause when the genius said, "Wait, what bouquet? I don't remember sending you a bouquet, not at all," then unpausing before the belle gave him the card but before he read it, then pushing the stop button before he reacted to what was on the said card.

"Victory is almost mine," muttered the gossip freak, "all I need is one last scene for the capper..."

But then, something else occurred to Switchboard-the fact Chester recognized her handwriting on the flower card, as did Tara. They were getting way close and way suspicious. Which meant the gossipmonger had to come up with something that would disillusion the genius, hurt him the most so that he would be way depressed and disillusioned to give up on suspecting that the gossip freak was behind those happenings.

"But wait," added Switchboard, "he almost knows too much of what's happening...time to kill two birds with one stone-settle the score with that egghead and throw him off the trail,not to mention spite his relationship with Jillian...and what he said at one point gives me an idea for the finale..."

On that note, Switchboard gunned herself and the probe to who knows where...

It's bad enough trying to play pseudo yenta twixt the genius and the Southerner, but now Switchboard's got something in mind that may ensnare Jillian in the mess-along with Chester, so tune in next time to learn the rest. And hang on to your breakup consultants!

-a440

Next time, check out Chapter 4: Belle P.I.


	4. Belle P I

BHTs, beware! Switchboard's on the rampage intent on starting the ultimate jihad (holy war), Beverly Hills style. Will she get the upper hand? Not if Tara can help it...

-a440

Chapter 4: Belle P.I.

Like Aladdin on his flying carpet, Switchboard rode her flying camera probe high in the sky above the Beverly Hills skyline, with one planned destination in mind, ready to drive the nail in the upcoming coffin of life for Chester. But like all troublemakers, the gossip freak was so hell bent on her unholy crusade that she didn't know someone else was below her. Below her and tailing her.

Tara Belle.

Since noticing Switchboard's handwriting on the card that came with the flowers she got, the belle had been suspicious of some strange connection, a strange happening-why would Switchboard send her flowers in Chester's name, let alone forge a card along with his signigture? And right now, she was driving her purple car on Rodeo Drive and while waiting at a red light, examined the card, her eyes narrowing.

"I do declare," she muttered, "I believe that is pert near absolute forgery that Switchboard did, Why'd she do such a criminal thing, just to give me flowers? And why in Chester's name? It's weaving a tangled web, make no mistake."

Just as the light changed to green, the Southerner chanced to glance up-and saw Switchboard on her probe, skyward and streaking across the said sky, to who knows where.

"Heavens to Appomattox," said Tara, "Switchboard, for some reason, is a-fixin' to take off with that probe like a bat out from you know where-and I believe the time's come to track her to wherever she's a-fixin' to do."

As soon as she could, the Southerner discreetly followed the gossip freak and her probe at a safe distance, up and down streets, until the trail led to the Belle Mansion, where Tara and her family lived.

"My word," said the belle, "whyever would Switchboard be doing at my house? Strange indeed."

Jumping from her car and heading for the trees near the mansion, Tara whipped out two items-her cell phone which had a camera eye with video recording capabliity and her most treasured heirloom possession-a brass spyglass that her uncle had at the time of The War Between The States. Now given the fact the belle was good at climbing trees, she had the advantage when it came to mounting the neareast tree close to the mansion. Once upon the strongest branch, well hidden by the other branches and leaves, the Southerner had a fine view of the mansion-along with Switchboard, and her probe, which had stopped and was hovering near one of the front windows; aiming her spyglass along with her cell phone, its vidcam recording now, and what came into her sights caused Tara to gasp, her face turning to a deep pomegranite color.

And no wonder. For there was the gossip freak, using a skeleton key (a universal key that could open any lock) on a control box mounted in the wall near one of the windows, then upon opening the box, used a bobby pin to bypass the alarm before opening the window, and jumped into what was no doubt Tara's bedroom; there, Switchboard went for a frilly dressing table, selected one of the ornate crystalline perfume bottles, pulled out from her pocket a long, fancy satin shawl, sprayed the said shawl with the perfume (at which point, Tara got more livid), set down the bottle, wrapped the shawl in a package, climbed out and resealed the window, then reset the alarm before taking off for the skies again, in the direction the belle knew was in the direction of The Teenclub.

Right after Switchboard's departure, the Southerner switched off the vid cam and placed that and the spyglass back in her pockets, jumped down from the tree, and ran back to her car, and resumed the tailing of the gossip freak, again, at a discreet distance; along the way however, the belle was enraged, fuming with a look on her face that could peel paint, bunching up her fist while she blurted out, "Well I do declare! I've seen many scandalous and disgraceful transgressions, but...what I just saw is THE most, insensitive, inexcusable, lowdown, nowhere bound narrow minded thing I saw, since I was born! Forging and weaving a tangled web is bad enough, but tresspassing, breaking, entering and stealing, not to mention wasting my $70,000 perfume, I mean using THAT on a shawl-it's-it's-it's-it's UNFORGIVABLE! Only why in the name of Rhett Butler would Switchboard do such a despicable thing?! First the flowers, the forged card and the tangled web weaving, now THAT-what in the dickens is Switchboard trying to do?!"

Nonetheless, Tara trailed the gossip freak, and as expected, the quarry was heading for The Teenclub-in fact, right down to The Teenclub ski slopes; realizing it would take time for Switchboard to change for the cold climate there, the belle headed there ahead of Switchboard where she would change as well.

As luck would have it, the Southerner reached the slopes ahead of the goosip freak, in her cold winter wear, and as before, climbed up a tree, where concealed by the snow covered branches, readied her spyglass and cell phone vid cam-just before Switchboard, also in cold climate wear, came in her sights, again, riding her probe, before coming to a stop, then hovered behind a bank of trees near the ski path and waited.

"Now why would she be pert near coming to the ski slopes for after all that?" wondered Tara, before she started her vid cam.

Thankfully for the belle, that question was answered when a second later, Chester came down the slope in his skis, and at that point, the Southerner remembered that he had a date with Jillian; no doubt he was referring to a ski date-only what was the connection with that and Switchboard's doings? Again, that question was answered when the gossip freak tossed out to Chester on the sly, the package with the shawl in it, which landed near his feet.

"Now where'd that come from?" mused the genius. "Must've been a well wisher." Carefully unwrapping the package, Chester found the shawl and puzzled he muttered, "Looks good on Jillian-I'll give to her as a gift."

No sooner had he said that, Jillian arrived on the scene and said, "I tell you what, you know the best ski routes on the slopes." Then seeing the shawl, she added, "Where'd you get that? Is that for me?"

Stammering, the genius replied, "Why...sure, it's a gift exclusively for you."

Taking the shawl and wrapping it 'round her neck, the Thorndyke sibling gushed, "It's great! It fits me to a tee!" Then after she kissed her genius beau, she added, "Thank you, Chester."

From there, the duo pressed on, but when they were 15 yards to the next downhill slope, Jillian sniffed something, frowned and then glowered before coming to a stop ahead of Chester who also stopped; after that, the Thorndyke sibling unwrapped the shawl and thrust it back to the surprised genius, saying hotly, "Here, take it back, you just wrapped it around the wrong girl!"

"I don't follow you," said a surpised Chester, who after getting kudos and a kiss would suddenly get a lot of flak.

"Don't play coy with me, Chester Neil McTech," charged the Thorndyke sibling, "I recognize the perfume-it's Tara's!"

"Tara's?!" said the surprised genius, who now sniffed the shawl and then added, "I wondered what that was coming from that shawl...listen, Jillian, it's not what you think! I swear I got the shawl form a package some well wisher tossed out to me! How was I to know it was Tara?! For that matter, why would she give me such a gift?"

"Why would she, indeed?" shot back Jillian.

"All I know is that what we've got here," stated Chester, "Jillian Hyacinth Thorndyke III, is a case of circumstancial evidence and I say, I didn't have anything to do with that shawl and no doubt, neither did Tara!"

"Oh, so you're trying to come up with a lame alibi, huh?" charged the Thorndyke sibling, "Well, it won't work! Not in my book anyhoo, so after today, THAT is the last time I EVER date you! Put simply, to quote The Hollies, WE'RE THROUGH!"

And after making a moist raspberry, Jillian turned on her skis and skied fast an far from a jilted Chester who called out, "Stop! Jillian, come back! You're making a big mistake, mark my words!" Then finally, he yelled out in frustration, "ALL RIGHT! I MADE YOU, AND I CAN BREAK YOU!"

From there, the now dejected genius could only stand with the shawl in one hand. First the roses, and now a shawl with Tara's perfume on it. Was it yet another prank by Switchboard, or one of Tara's doings? But then Tara would never do such a thing-or would she? Right now, however, poor Chester was shattered over losing Jillian to ponder on the mystery now...all he could do was ski down slow to the nearest lodge, troubled and all alone...

From her vantage point, Switchboard, who had been recording the whole thing, hit the stop button and muttered, "Mission accomplished," then activated controls and manned her joystick, taking off on her probe for who knows where...

Little did Switchboard, Chester and Jillian know was that all that had also been seen in Tara's sights as well; upon putting away her spyglass, switching off her cell phone vid cam and jumping down from the tree she had hid in, her eyes blazing with flame, her face, and was burning up before she sank in the snow. But then, she climbed out from the hole and went berserk, shaking her fists, stomping in the snow and shouting, "SO THAT'S IT! NO WONDER SWITCHBOARD WAS A-FIXIN' TO DO ALL THOSE HORRID CRIMES-FORGING CHESTER'S HANDWRITING AND SIGNITURE, SENDING FLOWERS TO ME IN HIS NAME, BREAKING AND ENTERING, STEALING AND WASTING MY $70,000 PERFUME ON A SHAWL! AND ALL FOR WHAT?! JUST TO BREAK UP POOR CHESTER AND JILLIAN! AND WHAT FOR?! GRRRRRR! I'LL PERT NEAR WRAP MY DELICATE SOUTHERN FINGERS 'ROUND THAT YANKEE CARPETBAGGER SWITCHBOARD'S NECK AND LYNCH HER, THEN TAR AND FEATHER HER BEFORE I COOK HER GOOSE-SOUTHERN STYLE, NO LESS!" Then suddenly calming down, she added, "But no...first, I've GOT to pert near reconcile Chester and Jillian post haste and explain to them the truth! THEN , time for Southern justice!"

And on that note, the Southerner hightailed it as fast as she could, in the direction of The Teenclub. Now that she had known the worst, she was inspired by a new motivation...

Deep within the dance club section of The Teenclub, everyone was geting dow and getting with it when it came to the rocking sounds of Thomas "Gig" Josephson and Therese "Jett" Lyman; right after they finished, and the BHTs assembled cheered, did Chester run up to the mike and announce, "Sorry for the interruption, but I've got an important annoucement to make."

"Hey, it's the soon to be birthday boy," said Jett. "Well, lay it on us."

Approaching the mike, in a mood that suggested that he had been one of the mice chosen to bell the cat, the genius spoke with, "All of you, listen to me...it's a rather tender subject to relate to you, but I'll make it quick-due to the fact that me and Jillian broke up over some misunderstanding, there'll be no birthday party for me next week so please understand. Don't try to talk me out from it, but to quote Bruce Hornsby & The Range, it's just the way it is. Thanks for your kindness, but..."

With the rest of his voice lost in a sob, the genius ran offstage as the bewildered crowd protested, Lark saying, "Oh, Chester, you can't mean that!"

"You and Jillian broke up?!" said Troy. "What a bummer!"

"Does that mean you and Jillian won't be hang tenning on the pipeline of love?" asked Brad Coleman, aka Radley.

"What happened between you and Jillian?" asked Nikki.

"Wait, Ches!" called Gig. "Can't you confide in your friends?"

"Like, wow, you and Jillian broke up?" said Jett. "Like, no way!"

"How did that happen?" asked Bianca.

"That sucks," said Wilshire.

"Why'd you break up?" asked Blaze.

"Now that is the best news I heard all day," said Pierce.

In the midst of all the confusion, Chester ran and ran and didn't stop running till he reached the fringe of The Teenclub's polo grounds where he collapsed among the tall grass and was crying for the first time. Indeed, the genius remebered the last time he did cry; it was when he learned from his uncle Angus McTech who had raised the genius since his parents died, that had told him the truth of the deaths of Chester's said parents, who on a trip to Ireland, chanced through bad fate had a run in with IRA who mistook them as members of another group and shot them.

Now, among the grasses, luckless hopeless and now Jillianless, the genius, never having felt so lost, was weeping away, pondering his fate, and almost wishing he were dead-

-that is, until Tara, back in her everyday dress, pearls, pearldrop earrings, et al, ran up and said, "There, there, Chester; I saw the whole thing-don't fret, I'll fix all up for you and Jillian."

Looking up, Chester glowered at the belle and charged hotly, "Go away, Tara! You've caused your share of trouble with me and Jillian by giving me your perfumed shawl!"

Unmarred by the genius' sudden vehemence, the Southerner stated, "Fiddle-de-de-Switchboard's the one that should be earmarked for trial; I saw her break into my mansion bedroom and steal and waste my $70,000 perfume on that shawl, wrapped it up and rode on her surveillance probe to the ski slopes before tossing it out to you as the so called 'well wisher', and no doubt used her probe camera to record the breakup between you and Jillian-and I've got proof."

Like a bolt from the black, it sudenly occurred to Chester that a lot of the facts were coming together, even now as he said, "Now I get it...the flowers, the card, and now what you just told me...if you're right...Switchboard was doing all that just to break me and Jillian up and record all that as well!" Getting up, he added, "So that's it!"

At the same moment, trudging through The Teenclub forest, weeping just like Chester, Jillian was staring at a photo of her and the genius when she wept, "That relationship's GOT to go..." Tearing the photo in half and jamming the halves in her pockets, she added, "I never want to see that genius womanizer as long as I live-nor hear his voice again-OR ELSE!"

Suddenly, the Thorndyke did hear someone, only it wasn't Chester-it was Switchboard. And she was giggling, in a way that triggered Jillian's suspicions; anything that had to do with the gossip freak usually meant some kind of tomfoolery, gossip or worse.

"I recognize that giggle," mutered the Thorndyke sibling, who heard the giggle come from some forested bushes; heading to a nearby tree (like Tara, Jillian was also good at climbing trees), and climbed it to one of the strong branches, hidden within the foilage in a Y shaped branch-and that was when Jillian saw something startling.

For there in a clearing hidden by the trees and bushes, was Switchboard and her surveillance probe, her back to the tree with the Thorndyke sibling hidden in it, and looking over her shoulder, Jillian could see that the gossip freak was staring at the built in LED screen of her probe remote controller, and at that point, the Thorndyke sibling pulled a Tara by whipping out a pair of binoculars and her cell phone which also had a vid cam, which was now recording the scene...and what she saw next would be a shock. For on the screen, was a video shot of Chester kissing Tara in the pool room; at first, Jillian flared with hate at that, but then the flare suddenly faded when the next scene showed Chester saying, "Like I said, Tara's the girl for me." And Jillian who had been with the genius knew that wasn't what he had said that, but, "Like I said, Tara's OK as a friend, but I can see you're the girl for me." Which meant that Switchboard had edited his sentence during recording so it would sound like he had said, "Like I said, Tara's the girl for me." Suddenly, it became apparent to the Thorndyke sibling was that the gossip freak was setting the genius up on false fabricated evidence!

The real clincher came in the next scene when Jillian suspected the shawl had Tara's perfume on it, gave it back to Chester, did her tirade and took off before Switchboard giggled at all that, then stopped the tape and rewound it before ejecting it from the side slot in the controller and sliding it in a black case that was emblazoned in white: PROPERTY OF BRENDA ANDES.

"FInished at last," said the gossip freak. "Now to wait till his birthday comes and I'll display the goods for all the other Teenclub members to see. After that, Chester will wish he had taken a research grant in Toronto, once he's disgraced and broke up over losing Jillian-he'll definitely wish he had never uninvited me to his birthday now, because when anyone messes with a gossip queen like me, they mess with the bull-and then they get the horns! I knew Jillian would fall for it when I dropped that shawl package and think it was from Tara, especially since I sprayed her perfume on it. Now I can truly say gossip justice is done!"

After a few more giggles, Switchboard put the tape in her pocket, mounted the probe and jetted off in the sky en route to home-before Jillian switched off her cell vid cam, fuming at her latest discovery.

"That fink!" she hissed. "That Switchboard WAS there with her probe and taping me and Chester, but mostly Chester, collecting up false yet incriminating evidence to frame him! Editing stuff to make it look like he said something which he didn't and then trying to make it look like he was dropping me for Tara and worse still, trying to break me and Chester apart! Then he WAS telling me the truth, saying Tara didn'tgive him that shawl, nor spray perfume on it! It was SWITCHBOARD! I'll rip off that gossip diva's pony tail!" Then she calmed down, crying a little and added, "So help me, Chester, I could kick myself for jumping to conclusions, doubting you, and...!"

Suddenly, Jillian pulled out from her pockets, the halves of the ripped photo of her and the genius, saying "I've got to tape that back together," before taping them back with scotch tape, then jumped from the tree, and ran, calling out, "Chester...!"

"Anyhow," said Tara, who produced her cell phone, "here's the evidence, Exhibit A."

At that moment, Jillian ran up, and grabbed Chester in a big hug and smooching the surprised genius, and saying, "Chester, I am so sorry for doubing you! Forgive me, please! I found out it was Switchboard behind all the crazy shenanigans in an effort to break us up!"

"Suddenly," said Chester, "I feel like my heart was just patched up."

Jumping and clapping, the Southerner chirped, "Yay! That means you two're back together again like a pair of Louisiana lovebirds!"

"Yup," replied the Thorndyke sibling, who from there let go of the genius and composed herself, then produced her cell phone adding, "And I've got the proof right on my cell, Exhibit B."

"So have I," said the belle.

Holding up a hand, Chester said cautiously, "Wait-I know a hiding place that not even Switchboard knows of." Then getting in a huddle with the girls, he added, "We'll meet there to hold a meeting as what to do next...rendezvous time will be at 7:00 P.M..." After that, the genius whispered to Tara and Jillian the directions and more...

So Switchboard succeeded with her dastardly deed in breaking up Chester and Jillian-but thankfully not for long; now that the genius and the Thorndyke sibling patched it all up and got reunited (or is that reswoonited?), they and Tara now got to make plans to turn the tide against Switchboard, bring her to justice and make things right again in the name of Teenclub law and order, or words to that effect.

-a440.

Next time, check out Chapter 5: Chester & Co. Strike Back


	5. Chester & Co Strike Back

And now...the moment you've been waiting for...the final confrontation-but first, the master plan to put Switchboard away for good. Sounds like the ultimate pay per view event (gets popcorn, chips, dip, hot dog and soda)

-a440

5th & Last Chapter: Chester & Co. Strike Back

7:00 P.M.

Somewhere in Los Angeles, the least likely place (to Switchboard, that is), in the Chinatown district, was where (with apologies to The Rolling Stones), under cover of the night, Chester met with Jillian and Tara; from there, the genius, with the Thorndyke sibling and the belle following, went down numerous alleys and shadows, before entering an abandoned yet historic building-The Capitol Milling Co., where, using flashlights, they found themselves in the heart of the huge part of the abandoned factory, among the strewn boxes, bags, file cabinets and such, where Chester turned on a LED battery powered camp lantern before saying, "OK, I scanned all the interior and exterior perimiters here, it's safe. Anyhow, the reason I chose here is because it's the last place Switchboard would stumble upon. You see, The Teenclub and all of Beverly Hills happen to be no place for secrets, with Switchboard running around, so I chose here. Since it's also a favorite place for film and TV locations and that I've been doing a documentry of The Capitol Milling Co., I got the advantage of using the place. Anyway, Tara, you first, with what you discovered, which we'll call Exhibit A."

"Oh," said Tara, whipping out her cell phone and setting up the video player, "I followed Switchboard to my place and found her-of all people-bypassing the alarm system, just so she could break in my bedroom and waste my $70,000 perfume on a shawl which she wrapped up and took off."

"$70,000 perfume?" echoed Jillian. "THAT is uncalled for. Dirty no good Switchboard."

At that point, Tara played the video she took of Switchboard and the genius said, "The game is afoot-Exhibit B. Jillian?"

"I was near some bushes and heard Switchboard laugh," replied the Throndyke sibiling, "and I climbed up in a tree and saw Switchboard with her probe, playing back a fabricated recording that looked as if Chester was 'professing' his love for Tara at the golf course when I was there and knew he'd never say that along with the breakup twixt him and me...I wondered where that perfumed shawl came from! So it was Switchboard the perfumed the shawl-by stealing Tara's perfume-all that just to break us up! I also heard her say, no, gloat, that she would used that tape before all the other BHTs to ruin Chester's life, so here's the evidence."

"I thought so...," grumbled Chester. "So where's the proof?'

Producing her cell, Jillian played the video of what was on Switchboard's video screen along with her gloat of, "Finished at last. Now to wait till his birthday comes and I'll display the goods for all the other Teenclub members to see. After that, Chester will wish he had taken a research grant in Toronto, once he's disgraced and broke up over losing Jillian-he'll definitely wish he had never uninvited me to his birthday now, because when anyone messes with a gossip queen like me, they mess with the bull-and then they get the horns! I knew Jillian would fall for it when I dropped that shawl package and think it was from Tara, especially since I sprayed her perfume on it. Now I can truly say gossip justice is done!"

After the gossip freak flew off, the Thorndyke sibling stopped the video while the genius said, "Ladies of the jury, we got our evidence."

"My gracious," said the Southerner, "that pert near explains everything! Why that lowdown no good gator in the swamp Switchboard! So THAT is how a carpetbagging lowlife loser like her lives!"

Her eyes tearing up, Jillian could only (for the second time) grab the genius in a hug and wail, "Forgive me again! What a fool I was for doubting you and Tara over that perfumed shawl!" Then directing the rest of her words to Chester, she added, "How could I wrongly misjudge the love of my life that was not only a genius, but also looked like Lance Hendriksen?"

"Lance Hendriksen?" said a surprised Tara. "Never! Y'all know what Chester pert near reminds me of? James Bond."

"But James Bond didn't wear glasses like I do," stated the genius.

"Not unless he wore contact lenses," added the Thorndyke sibling.

"Somehow," said the genius, "I can't imagine Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, et al wearing glasses, nor contact lenses-but then again, there's a first..."

Already coming to an afterthought, the belle blurted, "But wait-why would Switchboard try to break you two up, much less ruin your life?"

"That part," replied Chester, "is easy to answer; Switchboard got teed off because I wouldn't allow here to media cover my birthday party, nor take any recording equipment, nor her pad in my labs and when she refused to comply, me and Jillian here uninvited her to the party, so now she's trying to get back at me for that."

"And I can't blame y'all," agreed the Southerner. "If Switchboard tried to use media coverage at any of my parties, I'd be a-fixin' to sitck her on a skewer and bar-b-q her with all the down home fixin's!"

"What now, James Bond?" said Jillian. "Switchboard's got a head start on that tape of hers and she might try to play the contents for all of Beverly Hills-not to mention our fellow BHTs-to see. In fact, she might try to crash your party before playing it and after that, you might get drummed out from Caltech, M.I.T., etc."

"Which is why," said the genius, "the first priority is to get that tape away from Switchboard, long enough for me to degauss it and its contents."

"Degauss? What's that?" said the Thorndyke sibling.

"To use a hyper strong magnetic field," said Chester, "which will erase what's in Switchboard's tape so that she can't make her so called 'claim' stick. After all, magnetism and magnetic tape, as a rule, don't mix, and I know just the place where to do that."

Her face lighting up, Jillian said, "I love it when a plan comes together. So what's on your mind?"

"Wait, said Tara, "please count me in, I pert near won't take no for an answer, since I've also got a score to settle with Switchboard for what she did with my $70,000 perfume-among other transgressions. Please?"

"What do you think, Jillian?" said the genius.

"Victims of Switchboard, unite!" said the Thorndyke sibling who stuck out her hand; Chester laid his hand on top of it, followed by the belle's hand as well. After that, as before, the trio got in a huddle while the genius muttered, "OK...time for Quarterback McTech to outline a new game plan..."

One week, the day of the birthday.

Within the heart of The Beverly Hills Universal Hospital, in Medical Imaging Section #4, Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) Division, Room #5, seated at a console for a General Electric T-883 MRI machine, was Chester, who was typing on a keyboard and checking out the readouts on some flat screens, ready to begin what some pundits would call "the master plan," After that, he pulled out his cell, and placed a call to Jillian.

At the same moment, high above Beverly Hills, an Icarus 973 thought controlled jet wing pack unit (another McTech creation which used sensors to read the wearer's thoughts) strapped to her back, was Jillian, , a set of bandoliers with smoke bombs slung on her, and that was when her cell phone played a ringtone of Mi Sex' Computer Games, indicating it was Chester's ringtone; answering it, she said, "What's up, Ches?"

"All's in place," replied the genius, "for Operation Shame Switchboard. How goes your end?"

"No sign of-wait, I just spotted her," said the Thorndyke sibling, "down below, in her car, with the tape on the seat next to her. She's four yards from Tara's post."

"Call up Tara and tell her to set the barricades," said Chester, "then await you role for phase two and get back to me after that."

"Roger and out," said Jillian.

Speeding fast in her car, the tape on the seat next to her, along with a briefcase sized Video Home System (VHS) portable tape player with built in screen, used by business people for presentation purposes, was Brenda Andes, aka Switchboard, mentally gloating over the victory she would claim once she played the tape before all the BHTs, when she planned to crash Chester's birthday, In face, she could imagine the shocked horrifed faces of her fellow teens, after they saw, unable to believe that after a few years of a relationship that Chester would ditch Jillian for Tara. The scandal of the century in The Teenclub, and with it, the hope of settling the score for having been uninvited to a party. Victory was hers-or so Switchboard told herself.

As before, however, the gossip freak was so absorbed in her dream of vengance, that, once again, she didn't someone was discreetly tailing her-Jillian, who right now, placed a call on her cell phone to Tara, who was in an alley facing the street ahead of Switchboard, standing near seven road barricades with flashing lights; soon as her cell phone played a snippet of The Squirrel Nut Zippers' Baby Wants A Diamond Ring (Jillian's ringtone), she replied, "Howdy there, Jillian, what's up?"

"Switchboard's heading your way," replied the Thorndyke sibling, "so set the barriers and let me konw when the mouse just entered the trap."

"Will do, stand by," said the belle, who picked up the barriers and ran across the steet, setting down the barriers along the way till she reached the other side of the street and in another alley, the said barriers' lights flashing orange, all of them blocking the path. After that, she spoke crisply into the cell: "Jillian-GO!"

"Maximum burn, T.B.," said Jillian, who, using her thoughts to engage the Icarus' afterburners in to overdrive, propelling her to where her quarry was at, sped faster-

-just as the gossip freak came to a stop before the barricades and moaning, "Great, I don't remember any road work scheduled here for today. What gives?"

At the same time, seeing that Switchboard was in her sights, the Thorndyke sibling unhooked the smoke bombs from her bandolier, pulled out the pins and said, "Pilot to Bombardier-BOMBS AWAY!" From there, Jillian hurled down the bombs which hit their mark, exploding all around the gossip freak and engulfing her in white smoke.

"HEY! *cough* " gasped Switchboard, "I must've taken a *cough* wrong turn and wound up *cough* in Los Angeles-or is it Pittsburgh?! Can't see...*cough*...what's going on here?! *cough*"

Right after the bombs hit their target, the Thorndyke sibling went into a power dive, swooping down, and landing safely in the gossip freak's car, where using one of Chester's special thermogram goggles, found the tape and grabbed it, then flew skyward just as the last of the smoke dissipated-only for Switchboard to discover her tape was gone and spotted Jillian taking off, before the gossip queen went livid and yelled, "HEY! Jillian! You stole my tape! Bring my tape back, rodent named Jillian!"

Turning her car around, the gossip freak sped off, just as the Thorndyke sibling said into her cell, "OK, Tara, I got the tape. Get those barricades back where they belong and meet me and Chester at McTech Labs, soon as you can, Jillian, out."

"Will do," replied the Southerner, "Be with y'all soon, Tara out."

Hanging up, Tara ran back across the street in the other direction, picking up the said barricades along the way and reaching the other side and the other alleyway before looking skyward and murmuring, "Chester, Jillian...godspeed..."

Along the way, Jillian placed another call; Chester's cell started playing a snippet of On The Good Ship Lollipop which was Jillian's ringtone; picking it up, the genius said, "Chester here."

"Phase one complete," replied the Thorndyke sibling, "I got the tape and Switchboard's taling me, and boy, she's teed off."

"Rendezvous at the spot we arranged," said Chester, buoyed at the success of his master plan, "and pass the tape to me-the MRI will do the rest. Just stall Switchboard as much as you can to buy extra time just in case. Chester, out."

"Roger that," said Jillian, "Jillian, out," then hung up, just as she saw Switchboard gaining on her-but thankfully, The Beverly Hills Universal Hospital was a yard ahead of her, so she hit the turbo boost to pull out ahead, while down below, the gossip freak saw the Thorndyke sibling head to her destination and wonder, "Now why would she be heading to a hospital for?"

Reaching the hospital main entrance ahead of Switchboard, Jillian landed safely, took off her Icarus unit, and ran as fast as she could, discreetly, past the patients and medical staff, pushing aside in the hall, several Strykert gurneys behind her to slow the gossip freak to buy time, before she reached Medical Imaging Section #4, Magnetic Resonance Imaging Division, Room #5, where stepping out the door, was Chester, and called out, "Chester, think fast!" then tossed the tape like a football to the genius who grabbed it and said, "Interception."

At the same moment, Switchboard had entered the building, and jumped over the gurneys like hurdles at a track meet, shouting, "Come back with that tape, Jillian!" just as Chester went back in Room #5 and locked the door; once inside, he took the tape from its case, and tossed the said tape in the MRI machine, then typed in the keyboard to start it; the main screen read, PRESCAN IN EFFECT, then changed to a countdown timer which counted while below that was a flashing message, SCAN TIME REMAINING, while the tape itself, flew up to one wall of the MRI chamber and clung there, buzzing, then flew to one wall then another, pulled by the strong magnetic fields.

A few seconds, right after the genius locked the door, Switchboard exclaimed, "Aha!" then swept past Jillian to reach the door, and was pounding it, shouting, "Open that door! Gimme back my tape! Come on, open the door! At least be thankful I didn't say Richard!"

"Hey!" called Jillian from behind the gossip freak, "Let's have it quiet, huh? We're in a hospital, remember?"

Calming down, Switchboard said quietly, "Oh, right," then pounded with less bluster and called quietly, "Open that door, Chester McTech."

Meanwhile, the main screen now said SCAN COMPLETE, and from there, Chester got the tape out from the machine, slid it back in its case, and shoved it under the door to a sastified Switchboard who took the tape and said, "I knew you'd give in-but I STILL ain't changing my mind with my plans; after today, welcome to your Waterloo!" After that, she ran down the hall, back the way she came, before the genius stepped out from Room #5, stating to the Thorndyke sibling nearby, "Mission accomplished, we don't need to worry over Switchboard's threat now that the MRI did its thing."

"MRI?" echoed a quizzical Jillian.

"Magnetic Resonance Imaging," said Chester in a matter of fact way. "It uses ultra strong magnetic fields to examine inside a human body the same way an X ray does to diagnose someone, but those said magnetic fields can also erase magnetic tape like that of Switchboard's, which I just did, so her claim can't mean a thing."

"Huzzah!" chirped the Thorndayke sibling, "You've done it again!"

"We all did," said the genius, "Lucky I had some connections with Dr. Miles Franklin and the hospital staff; since I've been a big help for them as well as their equipment, they don't mind I borrow some of their tools of the trade. Now let's scram."

Seconds later, Chester and Jillian were flying high with their own Icarus 973 jet wing units, as they prepared to take off for the party.

"Next stop, McTech Labs," declared the genius.

"And the party?" said the Thorndyke sibling.

"Make it so, Number One-engage!" replied Chester.

And with that, the duo engaged their turbo boosts and streaked across the sky...

They were all there.

The usual BHTs, e.g., Lark Tanner, Bianca Dupree, Troy Jefferies, Wilshire Brentwood, Blaze Summners, Chenel Spenser, Buck Huckster, Pierce Thorndyke III, in addition to the said Radley, Gig, Jett and Nikki were there, along with some newcomers to The Teenclub (sorry, couldn't resist adding some original characters, as long as they ain't Mary Sues, nor Gary Stus, dig?) such as Sergei Borodin, a Russian defector seeking political asylum and got his green card, and an chance to be Bianca's new beau. Then there was Shiro Tachibana, the scion of a major Tokyo congalmorate, followed by Ianthe Yario, a Brooklyn New York cheerleader, James "Jim Jam-Y-Jam" Valentine, a Queens New York rapper who had recently been Chenel's BF. Next, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, was Vincent Pringle, a stand up comic that know how to make anyone roll in the aisles, Marisol Pereira, from Mexico with blonde hair, and a mind and ego just like Pierce, heck, she even became his significant other as well. Then there was Stephen East, the first BHT goth, who despite his look had a kind soul. Next was Roland Von Schlecter, an up and coming medic/surgeon/all around M.D. from Berlin, Germany, with his coat and green surgical scrub suit, followed by the first Native American BHT (a Navajo), Deidre Black Moon, Irish born Adel O'Dowd, whose strange passion was auto racing, Italian Giovanna Eagleichi, whose specialty was artwork, sculpting and fashion design, Ludivine Vonnier, a native from Paris (where else?), France that was an experienced chef and part time maid, the first BHT hippy, who ran an incense shop, Hope Sawyer, and last of all, from Adalide, Austrailia, Jessica Dugroot, a wildlife expert. And all were assembled at McTech Labs, near the tables loaded with food, along with the huge cake Jillian had baked for Chester. And right now, it was then that Bianca said, "Where is Chester?" It's been hours since we got here."

"Not like the birthday boy to miss his own birthday," said Troy. "But if we know Chester, he'll show up when he'll feel like it."

"Probably got delayed over something," said Blaze. "Fate happens."

"For that matter," added Pierce, "WHERE is Jillian?"

"And where's Tara?" said Nikki. "Not like her to be late as well,"

"Let's just think positive, OK?" said Lark.

"I can hardly wait for the party to start," said Radley, "so we can get to the birthday cake, see Chester blow out the candles, and see Wilshire eat it-the cake, that is."

"Everyone's a comic," said Wilshire. "Well, I wager Tara and the rest should be there, given time."

"Which I am," said Tara, who just entered, adding, "Chester and Jillian just arrived,"

No sooner had the Southerner said that, Jillian arrived, saying, "Sorry we're late, but all you fellow BHTs, let's welcome the birthday boy himself-Chester McTech!"

At that, there was quite a round of applause as Chester entered, and took his place, flanked between the Thorndyke sibling and the belle. then said, "Thanks, all of you."

"Happy birthday, Chester, " said Lark.

"Congratulations," said Bianca.

"How old're you now?" said Troy.

"Yay, Ches, a big B day to you," said Radley.

"My sentiments exactly, Comrade Chester," said Sergei.

"Feliz cumpleanos," said Marisol.

"You're another year older today," said Blaze.

Just then, Jillian, with Tara's help, took out her Bic lighter and lit the candles on the cake, before the Thorndyke sibling said, "OK, C.M.T., make a wish and blow out the candles."

"And at the same time," said the Southerner, "y'all have a happy birthday, y'hear?"

Leaning to the cake, the genius said, "I wish-"

"Wait!" said Nikki, " Don't say your wish or it can't come true."

"Believe me, the wish I got in mind will," assured Chester, who added, "I wish Switchboard would get her...just desserts." That said, he blew out the candles, to the clapping and cheers of the BHTs-

-and suddenly an alarm klaxon went off.

"What's that?" said Jett. "A fire? A break in?"

"Close," said the genius, "someone's breached the security systems and bypassed the outside doors and alarms-someone's trying to break in using a skeleton key. And hotwiring my electronic locks."

No sooner had Chester said that, there was a lot of pounding on the door, before, there was an electric crackle, before the main entrance door slid open, and a irate Switchboard stepped in; in one had was the tape, the other, her portable tape player.

"Well I declare," said Tara, "y'all broke and entered again, Switchboard!"

"I thought we told you you weren't invited, Switch," said Jillian.

"What do you mean, breaking in here?!" demanded Chester.

"What's going on here, Switch?!" said Troy.

"Plenty," said the gossip freak, "To all of you members of the Beverly Hills Teenclub, I present an untold secret-untold, until now: the fact the our beloved wiz kid, Chester McTech, just recently broke up with his longtime girlfriend, Jillian Thorndyke III, and ran off with everyone's favorite Belle Of The South, Tara Belle-and I've got proof, right here on a tape, thanks to the efforts of my camera probe."

Upon hearing that, the other BHTs gasped, yet some spoke out words of doubt and disbelief.

"Not Chester! He'd never do that to Jillian," said Lark.

"Like, Chester dropping Jillian for Tara?" said Jett. "Like, no way!"

"Why would he do that?" said Gig. "What's Tara got that Jillian doesn't?"

"I knew it!" said Pierce. "I had a feeling Chester's relation with my kid sister wouldn't last. Shame on you Chester, treating my sis like that!"

"Chester trading Jillian for Tara?" said Bianca with a laugh. "That is a crock of guacamole-and not only that, it's de clase."

"Chester and Tara?" said Wilshire. "Impossible."

"What a wipe out for me," said Radley, "I mean, what a shock."

"What a bummer," said Troy. "Why would Chester do such a thing? He had Jillian, why would he abandon her for Tara?"

"Chester baby, naughty, naughty, naughty," said Buck.

"Yo, that is the pits," said James.

"As if to put aside any doubts," added Switchboard, "here's the tape to prove it-once I play it to you all, all I can say is: what do you now think of your Chester McTech now?"

Setting up the tape player, the gossip freak put the tape in and hit the play switch-and what came on the built in screen was a lot of white lines like a station off the air, in short, not a thing at all. Not a thing!

"What the...?" said Switchboard. "Where is it?" Franticlly, she tried visually fast fowarding the tape, checking and playing, rewinding, fast fowarding and playing the tape countless times, but the result was the same-total nil on the tape.

"Well, Switchboard? "We're waiting," said Pierce.

"Is that some kind of joke?" said Chenel.

"So, like, where's the steaming poop, you hoser?" said Vincent.

"Where's ze proof?" said Ludivine.

"Well, Switchboard?" said Troy.

"Switchboard," growled Bianca, "we demand some answers! What're you trying to pull around here, saying there's a rumor that doesn't exist?"

At that, all the other BHTs shouted demands and questions to a flustered Switchboard who tried to scan the tape, before she stopped it and took the tape out, while Jillian and Tara, who were flanking Chester, looked at the genius in surprise before he nodded, indicating their plan had worked. In the end, the gossip freak put two and two together before seething with rage, blurting out and pointing a finger at Chester and Co., "Now I get it! He did it! Him and his gals here ruined my tape! It's destruction of private property, and I plan to sue!"

"Oh?" said the genius. "Well, while we're on the subject, what of all the other stuff you did, like forging my signiture for the flowers you sent Tara?"

"And the dirty deception with the perfumed shawl you did to break me and Chester up?" said Jillian.

"And bypassing my family mansion alarm, breaking and entering in my bedroom, and stealing and wasting my $70,000 perfume on a shawl just to split Chester and Jillian?" said Tara.

Upon hearing that, the other BHTs gasped while Switchboard stammered, "But, but, but, but, but, but, but-"

"If you're through with the motorboat imitations, Switchboard," said Chester, "I suggest to the ladies of the jury-" here, he gestured to Jillian and Tara "-to present OUR evidence, thus giving you a taste of your own medicine in effect."

Whipping out their cell phones, the Thorndyke sibling and the Southerner played the video shots of the gossip freak and such for all the BHTs to see; the said BHTs gasped even more and in total shock, while Switchboard's resentment was replaced with absolute fright before she screamed in terror and gasped, her expression like that of a child found with a hand in the cookie jar. And naturally, that piece of info didn't bode well with the other Teenclub members, while they took a dim view of what they saw, shouting in uproar.

"Switchboard!" said Lark. "How could you weave a tangled web like that, trying to break those two up?!"

"I used to think people like Bianca and Pierce," said Chenel, "got better and better at becoming badder and badder, but now I see the REAL person to do just that-is you! Consider yourself banned from The Teenclub for a year-with your membership and media license revoked as well!"

"For shame, Switchboard!" said Troy. "Why break up Chester and Jillian with a fabricated lie? What did they ever do to you?!"

"At's-a no good," said Giovanna.

"You're the pits, you jive she turkey!" said James.

"Inexcusable," said Stephen.

"Take off, you hosehead," said Vincent.

"Maybe God and his son will forgive you," said Bianca, "but I won't."

"Que estupido tonto in the cabeza!" said Marisol.

"Comrade Switchboard," said Sergei, "you're no comrade, you durak."

"You're a dweeb, and hip as a flat day at Malibu, Switchboard," said Radley.

"What you just did," said Deidre, "is worse than the most pathetic war cry."

"Baka Switchboard," said Shiro. "that was dishonorble, what you did."

"Boo, Switchboard!" said Wilshire.

"Ditto!" said Buck.

"Shame, shame on you!" said Ianthe.

"R-r-r-r-r...stupid gossiping hyena!" said Pierce.

"Sure and 'tis a shameful thing you did!" said Adel.

"You did an absolutely verboten thing," said Roland.

"You stupid idiot!" said Ludivine.

"Sorry, mate, but you're no mate to me," said Jessica.

"You've bloody gone too far, and you know it!" said Gig.

"Of all the scuzzy lowdown things you did," said Jett, "what you sooooo did, like, totally takes the cake!"

"Only an unhip square like you would do such a crummy thing," said Hope.

"If I had my way," said Blaze, "I'd hogtie you and toss you in a pen full of wild horses where you'd be trampled underfoot."

"You're a disgrace to The Teenclub!" said Nikki.

Already the BHTs were so livid, they tried to mob the gossip freak and tear her apart, even if no court would convict them. That is, until Switchboard jumped on one of the tables of food, but the furious BHTs were surrounding her, trying to grab her. And already luckless and tapeless, a sobbing and terrified gossip queen was using a plate to sheild herself and fend off the furious mob, shouting through her tears, "Stop! Let me alone! I got my rights! It's my life! And don't forget The First Amendment! And besides, I was only getting back at Chester and Jillian for uninviting me to the party, all because they wouldn't let me do media coverage!"

Fearing the possibility of spilled blood, if not bad blood, Chester jumped into the fray, held up his hand, and yelled, "STOP!"

Hearing that, The Teenclub members calmed down and quieted, before the genius added, "May no blood be spilled in McTech Labs! I believe Switchboard's been disciplined enough to learn her lesson. However, let's make extra sure she's learned her lesson, considering Chenel here just revoked her media license and banned her from The Teenclub, both for a year." Then to Switchboard: "OK, Switchboard, a compromise-we'll let you stay at the party-but ONLY if you confess to everything and adhere to my terms as well as a proviso."

"Anything," sobbed the gossip freak. "So much for The First Amendment..."

An hour later, Switchboard was typing on Chester's I pad tablet, finishing with, glumly, "...and I promise that what I said in my confession I just typed is true and that I promise to agree to Chester's terms of no media coverage whatsoever at his birthday, the promise that I am sorry for my crimes, the promise of an apology to Chester and Jillian for what I did and what I tried to do to them, that a check of $70,000 and apology to Tara Belle be forthcoming, the promise to go along with Chenel banning me from The Teenclub for a year and my membership and media license revoked, and last of all, the promise that all peccadillos be forgotten, that I swallow my pride and enjoy it, because I just learned you can't get away with crooked things, nor create false gossip." With a sigh, she said, "There, that is everything."

"Sign it," said the genius.

Using a stylus, the gossip freak wrote on the screen her signiture, then handed that and the tablet back to Chester, who tapped some onscreen templates, then stated, "Now listen-just to make extra sure you learned your lesson, I just emailed your confession/proviso to a notary public, which means if you don't do anything and everything you wrote, I'll email your said document, along with Tara and Jillian's cell phone vids to The Los Angeles Times. You understand?"

"I understand," said a glum Switchboard, "but you geniuses don't fight fair."

"So what else is new?" said the genius. "Now go get a slice of cake and other goodies, OK?" Then to the other Teenclub members, he added, "OK, NOW we can party."

After a round of applause the BHTs did just that, while a chagrined Switchboard helped herself to a slice of cake and bemoaned, "White cake? Why couldn't have it been chocolate cake? At least, the buttercream frosting makes up for it."

Feeling like a huge weight was finally off his mind, and eating his slice of cake, Chester-who was once again between Jillian and Tara-said, "Well, the worst is finally over, thanks to you two. I couldn't have done it without you two."

"You said it," agreed the Thorndyke sibling, "You and Tara were a big help, thanks a heap, T.B."

"Amen, Jillian," said the Southerner, " but you and Chester were pert near a big help to me in seeing that justice is done for my home and my $70,000 perfume. We couldn't have done it without each other, so much, the better."

"Right said," said the genius, "Now I can truly, have a happy birthday."

"Not quite," said a sly Jillian, who moved close to Chester and wrapped her arms around the genius, just as Tara, who knelt down did the same, "you forgot one more birthday tradition, which happens to be the birthday kiss..."

"...and we and Jillian pert near wish to be," said the belle, "the first ones to give you just that..."

"...so with that in mind..." said the Thorndyke sibling.

"...HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHESTER MCTECH!" chorused Jillian and Tara in unison, before they both at the same time in sync, kissed with a prolonged kiss on the cheeks of one surprised Chester, who soon after that, blushed, saying, "Hooboy...what a birthday it's going to be...!"

DA ENND

At last, my muse is complete once again. Now I can finally head down and buy some Underoos for my nephew. I should mention, any brands mentioned here, remain the register trademarks of their respective companies. Anyhoo, my latest creation is dedicated to all BHT fans worldwide and to the memory of Sean Robage, may he rest in peace (he voiced Chester in the show).

Once again, happy hunting!

-a440.


End file.
